Waking Hours

Working on the Nursery

2012-01-21T08:30:00.000-08:00

Fabric from Finland found in the back of my grandmother's closet. Plan to staple it around a wood frame, like a canvas, and hang in the baby's room.

Awful window treatment will be replaced by wooden blinds that match the floor.

Our new crib and changing table from a sweet great auntie. They, as well as the desk and chair, will probably be stained to match the rocking chair. The fabric in the crib will become his blanket. :)

I'm also going to dig up one of my mom's many spider plants to have as a hanging plant in his room. I'll post more pictures when we get things painted and set up.

So excited!

Jewelry Box

2011-11-25T12:53:00.000-08:00

The ladybugs are little pushpins. I just got fed up with the tangles today. So happy!

Prayer Baskets

2011-11-25T11:18:00.000-08:00

This morning I woke up at 4:45 and couldn't go back to sleep. In my mind I kept turning over all my worries, and every once in a while I would feel like I ought to go pray. Making a prayer basket has been "on my heart," so to say, for about a month, and so I rolled out of bed, grabbed J's sweatshirt and some fabric out of my closet, and set up my work in the kitchen.

Making a prayer basket is so easy, I made mine and prayed before breakfast! I could do a how-to post, but it's pretty easy. Make a gathered lining, kind of like making a curtain, and cut out a piece of thick cardboard to fit the bottom. Then cut a piece of batting to fit the cardboard and use a glue gun to cover that with a circle of fabric. Hot glue the ruffled lining around the inside top of the basket and then press your pretty lined piece of cardboard down into the bottom. Done!

Inside your basket you put:

Bible
journal
pen/pencil
note cards so when God puts someone on your heart you can write them a note right then
calendar/planner/to-do list, so when you get distracted thinking of something you don't want to forget, like your Dad's birthday next week, or that you have to put a bill in the mail tomorrow, you can quickly write it down and get back to praying
little tissue packet, maybe in a little matching fabric cover
devotional book/prayer book

You get the idea. This prayer basket thing I originally got from my mom, who got it from Emily Barnes in her wonderful book, More Hours in My Day.

Made one of my "mama aprons" (the red one) to go toward my goal of 7 new aprons before the due date, May 1st. The gold apron I made for my hope chest when J and I were courting, and I just traced it to make my new one.

I know, gorgeous, huh? I wish I could take the credit, but my amazing sisters made this using a Martha Stewart Recipe. And yes, it did taste as good as it looks!

And the pregnancy? We (the baby and I) are doing fine, as far as I know. I don't feel sick and have plenty of energy right now. We are both so small yet that it's easy to get around. The baby kicks every morning, and I'm sure other times, but the morning is when I feel it. Our family needs all kinds of prayer, most pressing, that J gets a job that can support us all. I can't imagine trying to bring Baby to work, although my boss very kindly has allowed it.

Hutch

2011-11-19T16:12:00.000-08:00

Yeah. So yesterday someone gave me a hutch. Something I have wanted for like seven years. SO HAPPY. Also baby is wiggling.

Aprons.

2011-11-13T20:24:00.000-08:00

I have four of them. And I want more. With this baby on the way, I'm thinking it will be good to stock up (Many mamas I know complain about dirty T-shirts and yoga pants and looking like crap all the time.)

Naysayers! What is up with you?! I'm sorry, I have waited 7 years to have a baby, and *delete delete delete*, I am gonna be one cute mama. I will not put on a pair of yoga pants, not even at gunpoint. Besides, I racked my shotgun when I first saw you waving those yoga pants at me, so am not the one at gunpoint anyway. You were too slow. I will wear sweat pants when I feel sick or to sleep in the winter. But when I am healthy and not sick in bed, I see no reason not to get up and throw on a pair of cute jeans and a good-looking shirt or even *gasp* a dress. Naysayers! Be quiet and let us dreamers have our fun.

Okay I feel better now. So anyway, I am making the most ridiculously cute apron out of red fabric with tiny white hearts on it. And chocolate edging. There may possibly be a picture of me wearing it here in the future. With the shotgun, you say? I'll see what I can do.

To read an incredibly good post on aprons, click HERE.

The Sweatshirt

2011-10-23T07:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, as I locked the door, I noticed with affection the soft, frayed cuff of my brown sweatshirt. It's one of those sweatshirts that has only improved with time. It started out as a hooded pullover, bought around the time J and I were courting. It was worn during cozy winter talks and skateboarding around the neighborhood. For cooking experiments and kisses. At some point I got sick of the hood and just cut it off, turning it into a boatneck sort of thing. It's been tied around my waist during midnight runs with J, and its well-worn cotton has soaked up countless tears. My brown sweatshirt and I have been through so much. It seems fitting that after all these years it would be keeping me and my twelve-week-old unborn baby cozy on an October evening.

Update:

2011-09-15T11:03:00.000-07:00

Reading: The Hunger Games: Very interesting, somewhat gory. Genesis: I love how every time I read the Bible, I uncover new things! The layers are endless.

Thinking about: Wouldn't you like to know.

In the kitchen: Biscuits with butter and honey, pancakes and applesauce. Bright red dishes. Fels-Naptha soap and a tiny rose on my windowsill.

Plans for the week: Make caramel apple pie, clean out my crazy room anew, go on a spaghetti dinner double date!

Okay, I'm tired and hungry. Bye.

My Testimony

2011-08-12T09:12:00.000-07:00

I got saved when I was 3 1/2 at a church service where we watched a Billy Graham video. I grew up writing songs for Jesus since I was 7. In Bible College, believe it or not, I started to doubt the whole thing. All the feelings I had for God could evidently be explained by chemicals in my brain. I was taught things like, if we found the bones of Jesus we could still be Christians, because it's a good philosophy to live by, and Jesus could have "spiritually" resurrected. One of my favorite professors thought you were an idiot if you didn't believe in evolution. (I'm skipping the details of all the things that subtracted from my belief in God) So yeah. I got to the point where I didn't believe in God, but I knew if I lived according to my new philosophy, suicide was the only answer. There was no reason for me to live in a world without God.

I didn't have the courage for suicide, however, and I held on to a desperate hope that what I had been taught all my life might prove true to me later. After all, my dad got a 1490 on his SAT's. He's much smarter than me, and yet he believes in the existence of God. My grandpa was an atom splitter at Stanford and a certified genius--he believed too.

So I went through the motions, church, getting married, and just tried to keep living like I did before. Then I read a book called Total Truth by Nancy Pearcy that began to allow me to believe in God again, on an intellectual level. I also read a lot of C.S. Lewis: Mere Christianity, The Abolition of Man, The Great Divorce. He made me realize that a lot of stupid college philosophies had dazzled me, but didn't add up when you use common sense, or logic. Common sense is GOLDEN. So after a lot of reading I felt the troubling things I had learned in college had been addressed, and belief in God was reasonable and right after all. I can't recommend this book highly enough: There is a God: How the world's most notorious atheist changed his mind, by Antony Flew. I have never encountered a better philosophical argument for the existence of God. Amazing.

But it wasn't until later, after spiraling emotional instability caused me to realize I needed Jesus (or my whole life was going to come apart at the seams), that my faith was made whole.

At that point I made a commitment to pray every morning, the very first thing, without fail. I praised God, confessed to Him, thanked him, and asked Him for what I needed. I did all this whether I "felt" anything or not. I found that very quickly I was spending 30 minutes or longer at the feet of Jesus without even realizing it! (See link for the article I used as a guide.)

And at the same time, God began to miraculously illuminate my mind, my heart, my eyes, to begin to see things in a Godly way. I didn't realize it, but all this time I'd been living in black and white. Suddenly everything took on color. I knew Jesus, I loved Jesus; my favorite place was on my knees, but I prayed during my work and while driving too now. I knew He was there, and real, at a heart level now, because He had changed me. I was living a renewed, wholesome life, a natural consequence of spending time with Jesus. :)

A Creationist Video Review, Kind of

2011-08-10T22:06:00.000-07:00

Jobe Martin: His "gotcha!" attitude is irritating, but beyond that, he doesn't have me at all.

If this guy is an intellectual, he stuck his intellect in his back pocket when he made these videos. I get the feeling he assumes he's talking to people who wouldn't understand the science behind what he's attempting to defend. Like 6th graders, or churchgoers who never went to college and don't read up on anything.

My response? Try me. I would enjoy a college-level lecture on the reasoning behind young earth creationism, one that straightforwardly addresses the issue in a technical, in-depth manner. This just glossed over it, with fingernails-against-chalkboard moments like when he says, "How does the earth's magnetic field affect carbon 14?" The students ask, "What do you mean?" And he responds--I had some maddening professors like this-- by raising his voice a little, as if that somehow clarified his point, and repeating himself verbatim. Twice. With a little attitude adjustment and him telling what he actually knows instead of glossing over it, this could have been an interesting video.

Jobe claims that people not believing his interpretation of the creation account in Genesis do so because they are unwilling to be countercultural. He also accuses the "opposing" camp of being inconsistent--you believe in the virgin birth and the ressurrection of Jesus, but not creation in a literal 6 days? Yes, but we haven't found Jesus' bones, either. I'm not saying that science has such compelling evidence for evolutionism, but do you see what I'm getting at? If we believed in Jesus' ressurrection in spite of possesing his bones, that would just be stupid. (Sidenote: I understand that to be a scientist and conduct research, you have to be funded, and if you don't find what you're suposed to, you can lose your funding. Therefore, science is not the glorious, impenetrable thing some take it to be.)

I love God, and I don't believe in old earth intelligent design because I want to fit in (also, I do believe it is a miracle, like the virgin birth and other miracles in the Bible. I'm not trying to strip our origins of their miraculous nature). I also don't believe in macroevolution. I've come to the understanding I have now after much in-depth, technical reading, discussion, careful thought, and prayer. BTW, I didn't stay to watch the whole thing. The videos wouldn't let me browse, and I couldn't find them on YouTube.

I guess the biggest problem is that he's not addressing me or my understanding of origins at all. He's addressing people who believe in plain old evolution, hook, line and sinker. But really, the best audience for Jobe is the group of people who just want confirmation that their view is correct, so they can sleep at night.

Disclaimer: I'm not saying I have things figured out. I'm just saying, can we address fellow believers with true respect and love, treating issues intelligently? That's all.

This other website, Christian Science Evangelism, has interesting articles, some aimed at people who actually want to think about the issue. I'll probably use it as a resource at school. Still, I see claims and my brain shouts, "Source!?" These are huge, paradigm-altering conclusions they are suggesting. Less altering for me, since I am a creationist of sorts. But people are not going to change their paradigm based on a fact someone decided to write down, you know? Where did it come from? What was the study? I am also disappionted that while they have a category for advanced articles, that category is EMPTY.

Does anyone have a good source for well-written, advanced articles on this subject?

Humans Live Here

2011-08-09T21:23:00.000-07:00

Maybe you are wondering why there is an unartistic, badly lit photograph of a kitchen on my blog. Maybe you've read previous posts and aren't wondering. Well, either way I'll tell you. It is nighttime but I can't wait to show you that my kitchen now looks like humans live here! It is no longer a crazy crackhouse den of ickyness. Yay me! Also most of the rest of the house is decluttered, but still needs to be scrubbed/dusted (other than the Crazy Room, which is as ominous as ever).

P.S. Those dishes are clean, and the T.V. is only for watching video tapes.

Escape: In which I prove I am stir crazy and in need of a vacation

2011-08-07T16:55:00.000-07:00

It's like a reoccurring dream, to shed belongings, commitments. I'll make a bonfire of my teacher clothes and you sell the dogs.  We'll run away together--British Columbia, Estonia, North Dakota, I don't care. Anywhere but here.

Let's get a raft and float down a river.

Let's get on a plane, watch the tiny crazy world through a thunderstorm, and fly north, where it's so cold you'll need the heat of my body to keep you warm.

Let's get motorcycles and ride forever, with everything we need in a pack.

Let's disappear into the mountains, sit on a boulder, stretching our toes to touch the glacier's stream, so cold it burns us.   Let's scramble up rocks and jump crevasses. We can build a cabin up there.

In a year or so you'll see, I'm sane and they're crazy. The tame ones, they're off their rockers.   Let me be fierce, and strong, and free.

Lately

2011-08-06T18:14:00.000-07:00

Pursuing: The housecleaning challenge has settled into a slow progress. I just don't have the heart to give it all I've got. There's just not a lot to give. I've got this chore chart with 3x5 cards with chores on them, and every day I try to beat my score from the day before. It's working, and more and more of my home is looking like someone cares. No pics yet. I know, broken promises.

Baking: Well, refrigerator biscuits and other atrocities lately. That's better than not at all.

Reading: From my fat study Bible. Had some interesting, healthy, life-giving conversations this week, two via email and the other in real life, that have caused me to feel that my knees are magnetically attracted to the floor. Thank God for honest Christian friends that cause you to pray and seek God more!

Making: Poetry, mostly. It's a haven, and a source of sanity. I've also begun writing a super-secret new book.

What's inspiring me: Encouraging words from great friends, my shining countertop, my darling husband in those thick, black-rimmed glasses. Geekaliscious! And most of all, the love of my precious Savior.

What's inspiring you right now? I'm dying to know!

Part Deer, Part Piranha

2011-08-03T10:26:00.000-07:00

Every morning my dogs are reunited. I release them from their crates and they rush together, bouncing off eath other and bounding toward the back door. And every morning it's like they're meeting for the first time.

Savage: HI! My name is soupernaughty! :D
Mishka: YAY! MY NAME IS SOUPERNAUGHTY TEW!!!!!! :D

I open the door and they scramble outside, growling and biting each other's necks, over to the large hole in the fence where they wait to suddenly shock and terrify unsuspecting pedestrians.

Radiohead and Simplicity

2011-07-25T11:08:00.000-07:00

This song is one of my favorites of all time. It has nothing to do with anything, I just love it and wanted to post it.

I really enjoyed reading through this list, 103 Ways to Live Simply. Got a lot of good ideas, maybe you will too.
I ended up getting rid of about half my jewelry collection as a result, and am inspired to do so much more.

My House is Dirty

2011-07-18T21:07:00.000-07:00

EDIT: You can't really see the dirt in this video because it is so pixelated. (Did I spell that right?) For some reason it didn't upload correctly.

You think I'm kidding? Watch the video below. I took it about 10 minutes ago. Tomorrow I start a new 21 day housecleaning challenge. I don't go to bed without:

Making my bed
Sweeping the kitchen
Doing the dishes
Tidying the house
Picking up dog poop
Washing or folding a load of laundry
Wiping down the bathroom

And before I go to sleep Saturday night I must have:

Cleaned the kitchen
Cleaned the bathrooms
Cleaned the family room
Cleaned the bedrooms
Swept/Vaccumed/ Mopped floors
Wiped the washer and dryer

Tomorrow is day one. I did this once before, so I know I can do it again. Here goes, feel free to pray for me and keep me accountable. And please don't make fun of me. Posting this video is already helping me see how appalling my house really is. I will take another video Saturday before I go to bed.

Dreams

2011-07-10T09:40:00.000-07:00

Mine:
1. Be military fit.
2. Visit Russia for a month.
3. Be best friends with my husband.
4. Live fueled by, and in response to, God's love.
5. Be educated C.S. Lewis style.
6. Publish a poem.
7. Have a baby.

Sometimes thinking about big dreams as an adult can be discouraging. With jobs and relationships putting limitations on what I do and where I go and mostly how much time I have, I feel like, none of this will ever happen. I did something several months ago that kind of changed this. I made a list of my dreams, put them down on paper. Then I thought of little things I could do towards those goals. What can I do today, what small step can I take, toward the achievement of these dreams? For example, for #1 I could: drink a glass of water; run 2 miles; stretch for 5 minutes; practice half push-ups (I can't even do one full push-up right now!). You get the idea. There are small things I can do no matter how much time I have.

Some of these have no terminus. Items 1, 3, 4, and 5 are ongoing, lifelong pursuits. Other I have very little control over, such as a trip to Russia. And publishing a poem? That's just a matter of procrastination! My goal here is to attempt publishing; whether or not the poem actually gets published is secondary. I'm confident I'm a poet, and I like my poetry, even if no one else does. But the world of publishing seems daunting and confusing. Do people still get published in magazines made out of paper? 'Cause I think it would be way too easy to get published on the internet, and not really anything to be proud of, you know? In fact, every time I post a poem on my blog I'm publishing it. Big deal. So I guess I need to do some research on that one. But I have a poem I've shown to almost no one and have never published or even emailed online because I have an idea it's good and might be able to get it published.

Have you thought about your dreams lately?
Do you still dream big? What dreams are you actively pursuing?

My hero. I can't even begin to describe the amazingness of this lady, my grandmother.

My other hero, my grandpa. So much to learn from them both.

Baby steps toward normalcy. If you have been following me you know I have been going through some serious internal struggles since the fall of last year. I got home from my grandmother's very inspired. The day after I arrived back in CA I went and bought a navy blue blueberry candle in a jar, a blue sponge and blue dish soap. I got out my blue grannywear dishes with white speckles and set the table with them. I put my blue bird from my cupboard out on my windowsill. See? It's very simple, but, Lord help me, at least I'm trying.

Update

2011-06-16T14:26:00.000-07:00

Does anyone really want an update?

1. I am someone else. I do not bake homemade bread.
2. I am reading Inca Gold, but mostly I just sleep with it under my pillow in case I wake up and am worried and don't want to think about my life. Then it's right there and I can just read. But I am always so tired I never wake up halfway through the night.
3. I ride my bike everywhere, past a dead cat and squirrel, under the hot, late spring sun.
4. I wrote a short book--a novellette, they call it at that length. It is awful but I love it.
5. I've been swimming at the city pool.

See you didn't really need to know any of that. I expended my allotted wit for the week yesterday in an email to a friend anyway, so there's none left for you here.

Sticking to the Schedule

2011-06-12T08:53:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up, somewhat excited at the prospect of a day I could schedule however I chose, as long as I was at work for 4 hours. I helped my husband get ready for work and out the door. Then I sat down with a lovely sharp pencil and a fresh yellow notepad on the table in front of me.

7:30 Get ready, Ride to work
8:30 Work in office
11:30 Lesson plan
2:30 Ride home, do the dishes.
3:30 Tidy, Laundry
4:30 Floors, dog poop
5:30 Free time!!!!

I ate my cereal and began my Productive Day.

7:46 Shower for 45 seconds before it starts to fill up with sewer water. Dry off and put pyjamas back on 'cause you can't get dressed if you're not clean.

7:49 Check email

7:55 Read posts from Hyperbole and a Half while cosidering making coffee.

9:22 Realize your boss expects you at work no later than 10:00. Look for a clean T-shirt and shorts.

9:28 Have a snack of Hershey kisses, marshmallows, and graham crackers that you are too lazy to even melt in the microwave.

9:35 Blog about it until there is no way you can bike to work by 10:00. Realize you can't wear shorts 'cause you didn't shave your legs. But you have no clean pants.

I guess I better go.

This day is full of gifts:

2011-04-12T10:15:00.000-07:00

Riding my bike to work in the shadowed light of the rising sun. A hawk perched on the basketball hoop backboard when I got there. Chapstick that makes my lips really soft. Comfortable, brown sandals. Watching my class play cards in the dirt pile that they've shaped into armchairs and an end table. Clouds above the trees that are pretending to be a snowy mountain range.

Every good and perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights,
who does not change like shifting shadows.
James 1:17

Workhardened

2011-02-14T12:25:00.000-08:00

Ever bent a paperclip back and forth over and over till it breaks? Yeah.

Planning

2011-02-11T18:59:00.000-08:00

"Run in such a way as to get the prize."

Update

2011-01-14T18:36:00.000-08:00

Reading: The very last chapter of Marine Sniper.

Baking: Leftovers, chocolate chip cookies. I'm kind of into toasting open-faced s'mores under the broiler lately.

Planning: A treasure hunt for the kids--a MATH treasure hunt, involving measuring yards, reading a compass, finding area, cracking codes, and graphing the location of their dig, among other things. They will actually dig the treasure out of the ground. I'm excited. How can I keep the treasure from getting really wet and muddy as it sits in the ground this week? What should the treasure be?

Making: Writing poetry, working on my novel and then having my laptop die suddenly before I saved (preventing the awfulness from multiplying, I guess), dreaming up a painting inspired by the poem.

Also diligently honing my ironing and lint-rolling skills. At some point perhaps I will again blog regularly.

Treasure Hunting

2010-12-17T21:33:00.000-08:00

Today was the last day of school, and not having a whole lot of cash on hand, I thought I'd find gifts around the house for my students. At first I looked for things I didn't want, but I didn't really see anything I thought the kids would like. Then I came across one of my treasures, a 1867 Italian coin, and thought how much my history lover would appreciate it. Suddenly I was on a roll. I looked through the things I really liked and found enough for almost everyone. I had to make one gift.

For the sweet, girly girl: A wooden butterfly box from Poland wrapped in a silky beaded scarf.

For the video game/comic book fan: A superman box wrapped in newspaper comics.

For the mystery book boy: A paper grocery bag with a graham-cracker box inside. With a boring book inside. A book that is actually a secret book box. Make sure you have more than one razor (and more than one hour) if you make one of these.

For the kid with way, way too many questions: The book Why Do Dogs Have Wet Noses and Other Imponderables wrapped in a paper bag and secured with three or four layers of packaging tape.

For the history/geography lover: The oldest thing I owned, (the 1867 coin), plus a 1969 edition of National Geographic (the one about the trip to the moon) wrapped in a huge map of the Bible lands and tied with rough twine.

In return I recieved two hugs, a promise to make me a surprise over Christmas break, lots of thank-you's, a "This is really cool!", and a happy surge inside. :) The looks on their faces? Yeah, it was so, so worth parting with my cool stuff.

Random Pics

2010-11-28T16:16:00.000-08:00

Finally had the motivation to get out my advent wreath.

Meet Mishka, my 29th birthday present. She's about 10 weeks old right now.

And here's the felt Christmas tree I talked about in my last post.

Having fun with my new camera. My nephew and his scary awesome finger puppet. ;)

Write more.

2010-11-26T21:00:00.000-08:00

Shadow wants me to write more, so...

Reading: Psalms, John, and Marine Sniper, 'cause our friend who just died had lent it to us. Kind of like saying hi, I guess.

Listening to: Jesus Culture. Classic Christmas. The Christmas hate is melted a little, and I'm stitching together a little felt Christmas tree with 15 red hearts, one for each school day 'till Christmas vacation. Each heart is a pocket with a tiny note inside, so the kids have a surprise for every day. The notes are in code, or make them look somewhere, like under their chairs, where they will find 2 Hershey kisses taped upsidedown. Decorating the class Christmas tree, hot chocolate with mint stick candy, a Christmas movie, stamping wrapping paper, making a parent gift, making cards, a treasure hunt, presents, a party. I know, you need a photo of this darling tree.

In the kitchen: Proud to say I can pull of a pretty fantastic Thanksgiving dinner.

At work: I sort of had a week off, but still did office work for the church and have been planning all the lessons and activities for December. It was one of those weeks where you plan on sewing two winter skirts, baking lots of pies, getting together with family, cleaning the house from top to bottom, and grading and planning all schoool stuff.

What happened was: I had a dream my no-wrinkle skirt fabric wasn't wrinkled and the next morning squinted at its crumpled form for a moment before walking out to the kitchen to make coffee and further coax open my puffy pink eyes. I baked one sticky good cheesecake. Saw my whole family--at a funeral, and spent Thanksgiving alone with my husband. Washed the easier dishes and necessary laundry. The lesson planning went better. Made fruitless calls in search of a whole beef heart and sheep's lungs for dissection, but picked up mealworms and some denatured alcohol, and planned lots of lessons and Christmas fun. ;)

At the gym: Still running, but not so fast. I almost got sick yesterday, too, so I'm taking it easy.

What have you been planning for Christmas?

Complicated Girl's Journal

2010-10-24T08:16:00.000-07:00

'Cause life isn't simple right now.

Reading: The Lost City of Z by David Grann. The book's description is "A tale of deadly obsession in the Amazon." I usually would never pick up such a book, but a student mentioned reading it and I was curious about what interested him. Turns out it is a very in-depth biographical type of book about the life and mysterious disappearance of British explorer Percy Fawcett. And much, much more. It brings in all sorts of events and people of the time period--Darwin's, WWI, Conan Doyle, Victorian sensibilities, etc. I feel like it is tying together all my scattered bits of knowledge concerning Europe and Brazil in the early 1900's. The descriptions of the hardships endured in the Amazon forest are graphic and horrifying. But that's kind of refreshing in a way for a mind steeped in L.M. Montgomery. ;)

Also reading The Idiot by Dostoyevsky.

Listening to: As Christmas draws nigh, more and more Chevelle is blasting from my kitchen ipod player. It helps with my holiday anger issues as I fiercely wash and resist breaking the dishes.

In the kitchen: Pumpkin soup! I'm surprised to discover it's my new favorite. Peeled raw pumpkin chunks and a diced onion and some garlic boiled in salted chicken stock. Cook until soft. Blend in blender. Add a little heavy cream and S&P to taste. So, so, so good.

Also, I'm starting to miss my microwave.

At work: I'm now working two jobs. When my 5th-8th graders go home after school, I walk across the building and become administrative assistant to the pastor. I'm busy, and my house is embarassing. But not too busy to read nice fat books.

At the gym: Running faster every time. Friday's 2-mile time was 18:26.

I guess that's all for now. What are you all reading?

Pumpkin Farm

2010-10-19T22:14:00.000-07:00

One of the girls I taught last year feeding a goat.

Yep, I'm the one raising my hands and screaming as we enter a short, non-threatening tunnel. I love how my little buddy next to me is following my lead!

Laughed and smiled so much that my face is sore. My kids were the sunshine today. :)

(Pictures by my sweet friend.)

Potential

2010-10-18T21:07:00.000-07:00

I've decided who I want to be when I grow up.

Yeah, that 68-year-old.

The beginning of the school year: I can't do sit-ups. 50 crunches seems impressive to me. My mile time is 11:23. My students are amused that I run with them and cheer me on when I get to the last lap.

Now: I can do 10 sit-ups. 100 crunches seems impressive to me. My two-mile time is 19:30. My mile time is 8:30. I give my tallest (6' 3") student a run for his money during wind sprints.

"If we did all the things we were capable of, we would literally astound
ourselves." ~Albert Einstein.
What are you capable of? ;)

Making Things

2010-10-10T07:19:00.000-07:00

Making things makes me happy. Very happy.

Apple cider candle + strip of cheery fabric=

No, not a fire waiting to happen. Why would you even think that?

Sewing potholders is evidently a homemaking skill I lack. It's cool. I made up for it with enthusiasm and relish.

I only sort of decorate. You may have read in a previous post that I think of myself as a nostalgic utilitarian. So my cute oatmeal tin on my counter is actually full of oatmeal that I cook and eat. And there are no pumpkins in the kitchen because I don't have any good pumpkin recipes. I like things to be meaningful, old-fashioned, but I like them to be authentic, here for a purpose.

How would you define your style?

What are you making this fall?

Welcome, Autumn

2010-10-05T16:54:00.000-07:00

Played tag in the rain.

Beef stroganoff tonight.
Apples in a twisty, twiggy basket.
Welcome, Autumn.

Smiling Back

2010-10-02T10:51:00.000-07:00

In the weeks since I last posted:

--I became seperated from myself, not understanding why any of the things I used to value had been important to me. A horrifying, uncanny experience, if you can imagine or have been there.

--I've lost a bit of weight due to eating less and running often and hard.

--I almost joined the military. Yes I know I'm a little old for that.

I still look at pictures of myself from before and see another person. But at least today I am at the kitchen table in a pretty blouse, meal planning and, at last, smiling back at my matryoshka doll. The healing, the integration, is finally beginning. But I will never be the same.

Challenges

2010-09-08T19:42:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry to say I'm taking another blog break. I don't know how long it will be, but I just don't have a lot to give right now. May God bless each one of you. I'll be enjoying reading your blogs.

Jumping Jacks and Grave Digging

2010-09-04T15:49:00.000-07:00

Grave Digger by Vasnetov. Wikipedia Commons

Where I'm at:
Creating: A-line skirt for fall and winter.
Reading: A drawing book. Everyone keeps telling me I should take some college art classes. But I think there's enough information online and in books to keep me learning for a couple eternities.
Thinking about: Paint. God. Running. Sit-ups. Rain.
Plans for the week: Run.

Quick exercise I learned: Try to do this without resting until the end. This is a great warm-up to do before stretching. Do this fast.

1. Standing with your feet together, rise on tiptoe and come back down. 15x
2. Hop. 15x
3. Do 15 jumping jacks, legs only.
4. Do 15 jumping jacks, legs and arms, but only move your arms halfway up and then bring them back down.
5. Do 15 regular jumping jacks.
6. Repeat #4
7. Repeat #3
8. Repeat #2
9. Repeat #1

If you try this exercise, tell me how it went.

We buried Grandma's shell Monday. Lowered down a green carpeted hole. The plastic carpet and the lady with the camera made me furious. The fakeness, the shine, the clicking, clicking. Turning away to avoid having my wretchedness crystalized in a memory card. I dreamed about her last night. We needed to ask her a question and no one could find her.

Classic Literature and Diaries

2010-08-24T19:24:00.000-07:00

Today I am reading Dear Mr. Henshaw (undisputably a classic) with my 5th graders and Leigh starts a diary but writes it like a letter to Mr. Henshaw. Mostly when I write I have my family as an audience in mind. If I get in a car wreck or something, I won't have time to burn it first. So if I write something I don't want anyone to read, I don't keep it. Who would you address a diary to? I'm thinking of writing a special one for J that he can read anytime.

My consciousness is slimy

2010-08-22T20:13:00.000-07:00

and the notes wouldn't stick, so I decided instead to tape notes to myself around the house like a trail of clues in a treasure hunt.

I chose to post the items of my morning routine because I think if I get that down, the rest of the day will be much better.

Taped on chair next to bed: Jump up! Make bed, shower, wipe sink and toilet, get dressed to hair and shoes.
In closet to see while dressing: Put in load of laundry.
In front of dryer: Prayer.
Next to Bible reading plan: Feed cat and water plants.
On shelf with cat food: Make breakfast and clean up.

Today I followed the trail for a second time and found myself thinking ahead to the next thing. Try this. Seriously. It may possibly work for you too. And it was really fun.

Also I read Sidetracked Home Executives. As part of the chore card file they include a section of blank cards labeled "Compliments." I loved that and added it to my preexisting chore card file box. I love it when books make me laugh.

FOCUS

2010-08-16T22:04:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking of a way to tape a message in the front of my consciousness. Like DINNER. Or GET DRESSED. Or FEED CAT. And I could take it off the bulletin board of my brain when it was done.

Back to School

2010-08-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

I have been at work for two weeks preparing for the new school year. My class has two 5th-graders, two 8th graders, and one special education 19-year-old doing 5th grade work. My boss teaches the lower grades.

Our school library:

My new classroom (carved out of the back of the church sanctuary):

Oh, and here's the moment of the summer. Woke up to find that our new puppy had somehow pulled a shirt into his crate and dressed himself during the night. Really. So what if he confused the neck and arm holes. He is still a genius!

Well

2010-07-15T15:40:00.000-07:00

I'm going to take some time away from blogging and Twitter. From now until August 16th when school starts. See you then, hopefully with some classroom pictures and news. If you'd like you can email me at ashendream at gmail dot com. :)

Lately

2010-07-12T08:39:00.000-07:00

Thinking about:

1. Salvation

2. Hell

3. Modesty

5. Living submitted to Jesus

Digesting: A slice of cheesecake in the morning

Reading:

1. The Oxford History of the American People @1965

2. Amarilly of Clothesline Alley (1915) "'Oh!' she gasped in wistful soliloquy, as she leaned against her mopstick and gazed aspiringly at the stage, 'I wonder if I couldn't rise!'" ;)

Listening to: My new puppy that moans, whines and groans like an overly talkative Snoopy

Blessed by: Several new-to-me dresses given by my aunt that will be appropriate for work! Honestly, it is amazing how God provides.

Memorizing: I Peter. I'm up through verse 11. Learning scripture by heart keeps it going through your mind all day. And what is better than having God's truth renewing your mind, even when you aren't reading the Bible? Awesome. Think you can't do it? Here is the podcast that inspired me.

My method: Write scripture in 2-verse sections on index cards and prop them in front of me while I do dishes. Read aloud over and over again. Think about the meaning. Then, when it seems easy, try to say it on my own. I also take them with me to the gym and whisper them while I run. People probably think I'm talking to myself like a nut! But it works. I really absorb sccripture well when my body is in motion.

Sunflower

2010-07-07T18:26:00.000-07:00

I skipped my chores today--but it was worth it. Acrylics on watercolor paper. (Not an original composition. Copied from a book of watercolors.)

Firstfruits

2010-07-02T08:46:00.000-07:00

This is the very first tomato from my first "grown-up" tomato-growing attempt.

"Honor the Lord with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase." Proverbs 3:9-10

Our Daily Bread

2010-06-30T10:05:00.000-07:00

I have begun reading a book called Scouting the Divine by Margaret Feinberg.

The Bible is full of clever plots and compelling stories, laced with historic insights and literary beauty. Despite its richness and depth, many of us struggle to close the gap between the ancient world and our own. What does it mean to know that Jesus is the Good Shepherd when the only place you've encountered sheep is at a petting zoo?How can you understand the promise of a land overflowing with honey when you buy yours in a bear-shaped bottle? Can you grasp the urgency of Jesus' invitation to abide in the vine when you shop for grapes at a local grocery store? Popular author and speaker Margaret Feinberg invites you to accompany her on the spiritual adventure of a lifetime. Explore how ancient livelihoods illuminate meaningful Christian truths that apply to life today. Spend time with a shepherdess, farmer, beekeeper, and vintner who each bring fresh insights to familiar Scriptures. Scout the divine and move from just reading the Bible to entering stories that can be touched, tasted, heard, seen, smelled, and savored.

I've been using a simple recipe to make bread nearly every day. As I was praying the Lord's Prayer this morning and the scent of baking bread spread throughout the house, I thought of God's provision for us, for the food that keeps us going every day, and "Give us this day our daily bread" stood out in full color.

P.S. I recently found a great recipe for making thick, crusty, moist artisan bread. You mix a big batch of dough from four ingredients: flour, water, salt, and yeast. The day you make it you set it out for 2-5 hours. Then put it in the fridge. Every day you cut off a piece of dough, let it rest 40 minutes, and pop it in the oven for 30 minutes. No kneading. It is absolutely the simplest bread recipe I have ever tried!! I figured the few ingredients involved would not be enough to produce a good flavor. Boy was I wrong. The only thing I changed was I use1/3 of the salt the recipe called for. It is really, really salty bread if you follow the recipe exactly.

P.S.S. The Tanglewoods' Secret by Patricia St. John, is a great book to read to kids or have them read. (Or for you to read! I re-read this one every so often, it had such a huge impact on me.) It's the next best thing to getting your own flock of sheep in order to understand what the Bible means when it says Jesus is the Good Shepherd.

Have you had an experience that brought an ancient or unfamiliar aspect of the Bible alive to you?

Aunthood and Change

2010-06-27T14:39:00.000-07:00

A letter from my great grandmother to my grandmother given to me this weekend.

In the same room where my auntie, now dead, once had slumber parties with me, the tiny hand of my neice in mine, we pray. We say amen but we keep holding hands. She sleeps: I remember.

This is my grandma's house. Here, I spent my first Christmas, and most since then. Here, we had our last moments with Grandpa. Here, we celebrated Easter, birthdays, weddings. Here, we gathered numbly in the aftermath of my aunt's sudden death. Here, this weekend, we celebrated my grandmother's 90th birthday.

The house has changed and so have I. I was a baby, a zooming toddler, a candy gobbling preschooler, a wondering 6-year-old. It was grand, pristine, enormous. The flowers and garden were carefully tended. Abundant roses, fruitful orchard, neat rows of tulips.

Now the garden is untended. A wheelbarrow rusts on its side, unharvested oranges rot and fall from the tree. Inside, cat and dog hair collect in corners, the paint is worn off cupboards, the kitchen floor is stained and grimy. And me? I am a married woman, capable and young and strong, with Christ alive in me. And I am one of 6 aunts, young and old, who were onmipresent within the house this weekend. Helping in the kitchen, coaxing the dog, patting a baby, serving Grandma her black coffee, fixing our hair, finding Papa a pillow.

My niece stirs in her sleep, she whimpers, "I'm cohd." I pull up her blankets, give her a kiss, and pat her little back. What a joy it is to be who I am in this moment, with this little one as my charge.

Dropping In

2010-06-21T08:56:00.000-07:00

With new challenges for the coming school year and some big home projects I'm trying to accomplish this summer, I may not be able to blog as often as I'd like. We've had a garage sale, given away all but one kitten, and up ahead loom interior painting, carpet shampooing, curtain making, and clothes-sewing for the school year ahead. I'm still reading and enjoying blogs, even if I don't have time to comment at the moment. Hopefully I will be able to post soon. Hope everyone is having a lovely summer!

P.S. Bethany at The Apple Cider Mill has written a stellar post, "The S-Word." I have been thinking some of the same thoughts lately concerning biblical submission, and she articulates and expands on them in an inspiring way. So if you haven't read her post, go read it now! :)

"Shs is clothed with strength and dignity."

2010-06-16T08:46:00.000-07:00

Laundry basket and clothespin bag.

I believe in: Being a help, a sunbeam, and a solace to my man. Being close to nature and making things myself from scratch. Being a good steward of God's earth. Being a blessing to someone every day.

This past month I have been home, and my soul and body and mind have become reacquainted. There is a harmony, an integrity of living that was absent as I unconsciously struggled to rectify working at my full time job with the values I hold dear. Am I the sort of person who can't handle busyness as well as others? Or were we made to live a more deliberate, examined life, working hard, but at things more directly related to our survival, like making clothes, baking our daily bread, and tilling the earth?

This kind of work lends itself to reflection, and songs. This kind of life clover-crowns me with dignity. May God help me improve my balance of teaching and homemaking in the coming school year. I don't want to lose what has begun this summer.

Step aside, Suzie

2010-06-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

Did you know? Some off-topic and perhaps unfeminine things about me. Because I'm me, not just Suzie Homemaker.

1. I built my own light-sensitive alarm. Wakes you up with the sunrise.
2. I collect pocket knives.
3. I love to run.
4. I love MATH.
5. My counters are covered in dishes 75% of the time. (I am not proud of this and am working to change it!)
6. I won the women's weight training competition in my PE class as a junior in high school. (Reps with the bar.)
7. I own a Mossberg 12-gauge shotgun, and like going shooting with my husband.

There, does that even out the last 200 sweet homemaking posts? I felt like things were getting a little saccarine around here. And now, back to our regular programming.... :)

Clotheslines and Kittens

2010-06-14T14:29:00.000-07:00

My husband and I updated our budget and found that in order to live within our means, we would have to cut spending to the bone and get creative!

We already have, or plan to:
1. Stop pest control service.
2. Make a point to use up leftovers.
3. Eat less.
4. No more soda. (My husband LOVES his soda, so this is huge.)
5. No unnecessary car trips.
6. Hang as much laundry as possible outside to dry.
7. Sell valuable items on ebay.
8. Take advantage of free produce--freeze, eat, bake into pie, preserve.
9. Make any needed skirts for the new school year.
10. Give away the kittens as soon as possible!
11. Decorate with what we have. After making the decision not to spend on anything unnecessary, I was a little discouraged because I had planned to sew curtains for the house this summer. Well, I went through the linen closet and my fabric boxes and managed to find enough white fabric to do two rooms and some pale green I could use in the third! To think, I would have gone to the fabric store and spent who knows how much when there was plenty of material at home if I just took the trouble to look!
12. Have a garage sale.

And then there are kittens. They are over 6 weeks now, so most will be going to their homes this week. I will miss every one.

This black one is STILL not weaned. Lol!

Mama cat wanted to be in the picture too.

I love the yawner in the back!

What? I'm just taking your picture. Geez.

Naptime.

Things I Love

2010-06-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

Liquid Walls

2010-06-09T06:00:00.000-07:00

Something I wrote in the spring of last year. I like it. Thought I'd repost.

Liquid Walls

Poetry is hovering

Flitting in and out of my consciousness

Depth brushed against my elbow

As I reached for the sponge

The limits of my perception quivered

I took my pen instead

But the ink is black

Everything has darted out of reach

Except dimples

And a bit of green embroidery thread

4-4-09

A Good Wife

2010-06-07T19:19:00.000-07:00

"First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.

She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking."

Proverbs 31:17, 15, 18-19 The Message

These three books help me so much every day. In order to follow through on my "Wellspring" post, I have started using my Book of Common Prayer again as a guide to keep me regularly doing morning and evening devotions and prayer. Nothing is as important as being close to our Savior. The book on the bottom is my journal. I like to write thoughts, quotes, feelings, and just what happened each day in my journal.

I have also bought a bottle of cod liver oil (I added some peppermint extract to make it taste better) and have been taking that as well as a multi-vitamin.

I still need to work on getting outside more. Thrall likes the treadmill, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind getting outside once in a while! :)

Every morning I also try to check my calendar. This is where I have hourly plans, goals for the week, and meals mapped out. It helps to look through all this first thing in the morning so I know where my day is going. :)

Organizing my desk drawer made me very happy today. I bought new pencils and a lovely little metal pencil sharpener. I now have weapons-grade pencils. (I had been whittling them with a knife before today. My other pencil sharpeners were cheap garbage, and never did the job well.)
Ok done geeking for now! I know, it's just pencils. But they make me so HAPPY.

Lullabies

2010-06-06T07:23:00.000-07:00

Sleep o babe for the red bee hums
the silent twilights fall
eeval from the Grey Rock comes
to wrap the world in thrall.
A lyan van o my child my joy
my love and heart's desire.
the crickets sing you lullaby
beside the dying fire
dusk is drawn and the Green Mans' thorn
is wreathed in rings of fog
sheevra sails his boat till morn
alone the starry bog
a lyan van o, the paly moon
hath brimmed her cusp in dew
and weeps to hear the sad sleep tune
I sing o love to you

I love Nicolette Larson's lullabies. One year that I taught preschool, we would lay all the children down for their nap and turn on this CD. We used the same CD every day, starting with the same song so it would become sort of a sleep trigger for them. I loved "Welcome to the World" so much I memorized the lyrics.

What lullabies did you love as a child or discover as an adult? What do songs do you sing to your children?

Family, Food, and a Kitten Update

2010-06-03T09:14:00.001-07:00

The kittens are now almost 5 weeks old. They are starting to eat kibble and have all been using the litterbox for a week. :) Every day I find one down in my book basket.

"Mist in May and heat in June

Bring all things into tune."

Yesterday was strawberry jam day. It didn't set up perfectly, but it still tastes like Mama's jam!

In our family, when we'd be sitting around the table eating, Dad would often take a bite and say, "Hmmm, kids, I don't know. This isn't really very good. Do you think it's good?"

Straight faces all around. "No, not really good."

Mama: "What? Not good?"
Dad and kids together: "IT'S GRRREAT!!!!" Giggles and loving glances.

And then the other one went like this: We would be eating out at a restaurant or coming home from dinner somewhere and and Dad would comment on the food. "It was pretty good, I guess. But not as good as Mama's bread!" He did this so often that eventually all us kids would chime in, shouting "Not as good as Mama's BREAD!!" Happy laughing, smiles at Mama.

My mother ground her own flour from 7 grains to make her bread. I'm still learning the recipe. :)

Our table blessing, which we would sing:

Be present at our table, Lord.
Be here and everywhere adored.
These mercies bless, and grant that we
May live to love and serve but Thee.
Amen.

A fuzzy photo, but I couldn't resist. They love to climb into the doll cradle. So sweet!

Happy at Home

2010-06-01T20:08:00.000-07:00

Last Friday my students played some games, held some kittens, cleaned out their desks, dusted the classroom, and went home. As much as I love teaching at my little school, I am happy to have a summer at home ahead of me. Today J went back to work after the weekend, and I got to be 100% homemaker.

I had a lovely schedule for the day that included an hour of quilting. I spent half of that hour reading about kittens on the internet, and the other half looking for thread and quilting hoop! At least now I'm ready for tomorrow's quilting hour.

And these are some wildly successful, fluffy, whole wheat rolls. I forgot to put in the salt, so I added some to taste while kneading. I completely forgot to put in a cup of water and one of the cups of flour, and they came out delicious! A happy day.

Wellspring

2010-05-30T07:31:00.000-07:00

²³ Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.

²⁴ Put away perversity from your mouth;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.

²⁵ Let your eyes look straight ahead,
fix your gaze directly before you.

²⁶ Make level paths for your feet
and take only ways that are firm.

²⁷ Do not swerve to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil." Proverbs 4:23-27

I posted this on Facebook yesterday and a friend asked me what I thought it meant. It occcurred to me that my answer might build YOU all up, so here it is on my blog. :)

On Friday, my friend Beth published a post, "Build Your Power," which caused me to think through my perspective on taking care of myself. (By the way you should check out her blog, Elisabeth Black - Writer. She writes with maturity, clarity, heart, and honesty--always in her own unique voice.) I emerged from a couple days of thinking with this: Taking care of myself isn't handcuffed to pride and vanity. It allows me to be strong enough to care for others.

I have permission to take care of myself. I don't have to cause damage by spending lots of time with people who bring me down. I don't need to be tough and watch movies that give me nightmares just because everyone else is adult enough to handle them. I don't need to listen to music that is cool but hurts my faith.

Also I have this problem. When I get too stressed out, whether it is extreme anger, emotional pain from external influences, physical injury, or even a mental state of over-determination, I usually come down with a cold the following day that lasts for 1-2 weeks. I have spent one third of this year sick with a cold, fever, or flu. One. Third. I am not writing this to complain. I know some people have very serious medical conditions, and I'm so thankful for the health I do have. But allowing myself to rest and nurturing a calm state of mind can preserve and prolong the periods of wellness and strength in my life, which in turn can have all sorts of amazing possibilities. Like, less coughing and more painting. Or, fewer kleenexes and more germ-free random acts of kindness.

The ultimate way to guard my heart is to do what I know is right. Doing (or even just worrying about) what other people think I should do, and especially outright wrongdoing, eats away at me until I am a pale, patheic mess. Possibly with vomit on my shirt. Being authentic and submitting to God strengthens me, makes me beautiful. I have always been a very impressionable, sensitive person, and if I guard my heart and take care of my body I can be stable enough physically and emotionally to do the work I love and care for the awesome people in my life.

What vitamin, supplement, or healthy practice has strengthened your immunity? Also, how do you take care of yourself emotionally? I would love to hear your ideas.

Dinnertime Magic

2010-05-25T19:21:00.000-07:00

The idea of having dinner ready when your husband gets home is sort of stereotypical. I kind of resisted it, I guess. And growing up, my family often ate at 9:00 pm or later.

I have finally begun making a habit of serving our dinner when J gets home, and would have to say, it's more magical than I ever imagined. Instead of eating in the glare of our 42" gaming computer moniter, we eat at the table in the evening light. Instead of dining at 9:00, we are sitting down at 6:30. Instead of staring at youtube videos, we relax and talk about our days. And then there's that sweet, homey feeling of holding hands, praying, and eating at the table. It's a little dream come true, and the joy that it brings just motivates me to repeat the experience.

Complimentary Kittens

The Moments I Live For

2010-05-21T16:44:00.000-07:00

I had an awesome teaching moment today at my school. The 3rd and 4th grade kids were talking about how they witnessed to a Muslim friend of theirs, and I explained to them that telling her about Jesus and what He has done for her is very important, but if they are not loving her, she may not care about knowing Jesus. When I told them the Bible says that without love, our words are just noise, they were incredulous, and then got really interested. "How do we love her, Mrs. Reed?"

So I read to them from I Corinthians 13 in The Message. They were actually leaning forward in their seats! (Our curriculum here is all KJV, so they aren't used to hearing the scripture in current language.) After I stopped, I asked, "Do you want me to print that out for you?" Happy nods all around. This is one blessed teacher today!

Kitten Photos

2010-05-17T20:20:00.000-07:00

Photographs by my talented sister, Katherine Christian.

One good mama.
This black and white one is spoken for.

I haf no teef, but I vicious.

See my CLAW?

Germ Laden

2010-05-16T19:05:00.000-07:00

I drove to the school, with my eyes making clouds where there were none. I should have already had my lesson plans done, instead of coming in on a Sunday with all my pinkeye germs, leaving a mist of Lysol wherever I went. I went through the drive through, bleary and scarlet-eyed. I hope the cashier sanitized his hands. I should clean the catbox, which is possibly more germ-laden than myself. But I sit, avoiding kittens, digesting a burrito, wondering about life, radiating germs.

Discipline and Kittens

2010-05-14T16:55:00.000-07:00

"He that has not a mastery over his inclinations; he that knows not how to resist the importunity of present pleasure or pain, for the sake of what reason tells him ought to be done, wants the true principle of virtue and industry, and is in danger of never being good for anything." ~John Locke (as quoted in the Book of Virtues)

I was reading the Book of Virtues to my class and this stood out. Well, actually it kinda walloped me in the stomach.

And here are the kittehs:

I know the legs are distracting, but try to find the kitten in the picture. See it? Yeah, this is what my husband did for fun today.

Not 7 Quick Takes. Oh Well.

2010-05-07T06:46:00.000-07:00

1. Quoth my professor, in his Korean accent, "To know is to DO." I keep hearing him in my head this week, especially when I am too depressed to do my chores, or when I don't pray before work. Prof. Ku, you are NOT HELPING.

2. I hate it when I do everything I hate:

Coloring my chameleon with a purple crayon. I don't even like purple. My chameleon turns out ugly.

Wearing both of my favorite colors together: Red sweatshirt and green tank top.

Eating brownies for breakfast and then experiencing a huge emotional crash. Predictable.

Inadvertently typing "it's" when I mean "its." Me and correct apostrophe usage go way back, but when I read too much FB, it kinda brainwashes me.

Yelling at the dog.

3. I made a Facebookbook. I printed out all my posts (hey, I like what I wrote) and then deleted them off my profile after reading The Top Ten Reasons to Quit Facebook. It's a step.

4. I love it when it's quiet enough to hear grass tear and crush between horses' teeth. I love the feel of a horse nuzzling my arm and sniff-nibbling my sleeve. I love the fact that I had time to be out there in the wind across the fence from these curious beasts.

5. One kitten has opened its eyes.

How do I love this day?

2010-04-29T19:26:00.000-07:00

Let me count the ways.

1. I woke up to find this bump on the guest room bed-

-and found THESE underneath. (I know there are too many kittens already in this world. She was scheduled to be fixed, but I was, well, too late.) The little black and white one is already christened MooMoo. Ok?

2. I wore a perfect skirt/knee socks/plaid flannel blouse outfit for a breezy, sunny day.

3. I found a bonus enclosed with my paycheck.

4. My class and I played with rocks, shells, sand, and water in a tub. (It was related to an important lesson about--[insert adult voice from Snoopy cartoon here]. And then they took turns dreaming about travelling to far-off countries while lying underneath my globe. And then they finished weaving yarn baskets.

4. J is buying pizza for dinner, so I don't have to cook.

♥

Looking Back

2010-04-25T13:46:00.000-07:00

My first kitchen. Before marriage I dreamed of having a kitchen of my own. No matter what, it would have a window with yellow curtains. This little kitchen was perfect to me, because it was the color of grass, wood and sunshine. The "wooden" backsplash was my painstaking attempt to cover up crazy torn wallpaper with contact paper. I almost burst from happiness at the effect.
Here, I baked my first batch of whole wheat bread and set it on the back step to rise in the warm sunshine. Here, I cooked our first dinners, full of love and dreams. Here, I made tea every morning by candlelight, because it's what I had always wanted to do. And now I could. :)

What happy kitchen memories do you have?

Stepping Back

2010-04-21T08:02:00.000-07:00

I dropped off my laptop at a friend's house yesterday after I read this:

"Wyeth, along with the poet Robert Frost, used the rural environment as a tool to express our human anxieties in seeking comfort, joy, and solace in life's struggle. Perhaps because of the increased dependency on technology for those needs, along with the decline of our rural population, there has been a distillation of the earlier sentimental value that was placed on their work. Bet the universality of the human feelings that they were able to express will make their work always meaningful to our world." (A comment made by by David E. Winward commenting on 'Wyeth's World' article at smithsonieanmag.org)

I will still have access to the internet, but it won't be constant or convenient. My friend has instructions not to let me use my laptop until my house is clean and I can honestly say there is no mold on the bathroom ceiling!

Very much inspired by his nature paintings, especially The Carry and Sunday Times.

I checked out a book of Robert Frost's poetry yesterday and re-read some poems I hadn't read since college. You know how English teachers always make you pick out the meaning and the symbolism in the works you are assigned? I read "Birches" and saw those elements without any external prompts. It helps when it is pure, unforced discovery.

Six Years Today

2010-04-17T12:15:00.000-07:00

Photos by Jill at Eagle's Wings.

Yesterday pretty much the last of our "group" was married. Today is our sixth anniversary. I and my indomitable cat are looking at wedding pictures. Tomorrow, if I am better, my husband and I will drive down to the afterbay with Thrall for a picnic and some shooting.

Happy Thoughts

2010-04-13T08:14:00.000-07:00

This is my anti-tote. I brought it to the grocery store for a quick trip, gathered what I needed, unloaded it onto the belt at the checkout, and loaded it back up after I paid. A little added romance to life. "Green" and yet not cliché .

This little birdie keeps me company while I make dinner at the stove.
And for some reason this sight was making me very, very happy the other evening.

Tomato Plant Escapades

2010-04-08T19:03:00.000-07:00

Today I discovered that the earth beneath the surface of my backyard is SWARMING with worms. I filled up my pot and had to toss about 20 earthworms off to the side before I could plant the one tomato plant. This fellow commanded my awe and admiration.

Here he is, stretched out.

I kinda didn't take into account how heavy the pot would be once full. Thankfully I had my trusty skateboard to save the day.

Yes, I did spend my afternoon playing with earthworms and building a tomato cage from sticks. I ingeniously tied it together with bits of leather and strips of mulberry bark. What? It looks like it's going to fall apart? A pox on you naysayers. This is pure, unadulterated genius.

Real Life and a Chore System Update

2010-03-23T19:09:00.000-07:00

Someone was in a real hurry to get to the bathroom today! I wished I could take a picture of the scene, but since I didn't have a camera, I did a little sketch.

Now that our boarder, has moved out, I have a nice, fresh room to use as a study. I set up the daybed and a big desk with my laptop on it. I hung up a little Amish painting and my bulletin board. This is my current chore chart. Daily chores on cards on the left, and weekly chores on the right. When they are done, I move them to the lower envelope. It helps me to see the empty envelopes when my chores are done. Like that happens. Today I have done two daily chores. No weekly chores have been done since yesterday....

This is me sounding cheery on my blog. Do I really want two empty rooms in my house? No I do not. Empty rooms are wistful, achy places. But to make the best of it, I have a future nursury and a guest room/office.

How in the world do I title this?

2010-03-21T14:59:00.000-07:00

Wait, don't answer that.
Thrall loves garbage. I don't. When I tie up a bag for James to carry out, I feel a kind of sick feeling and briefly consider becoming Amish. I imagine zillions of pounds of plastic, sharp pieces of metal and broken glass, decaying food.

One thing I feel particularly guilty about is throwing away, um, well, feminine products. Plastic has not always been around. What did women DO back then? There are tons of women who are committed to cloth diapering. What do they do about their feminine products? So...

I googled alternative feminine products and what do you know? there ARE viable, earth-friendly choices out there.

After a little more fun on Google and a trip to Wal Mart, I came home and made this.

The bottom and top layers are flannel and winged. The center pieces are the white piece, which is a rubber fabric used to make matress covers for potty training kids, and the blue terry piece, which I cut from a washcloth.

For a pattern, I just took one of the pads I normally use and traced it, adding space around the edge for the seam.

If you fold it up right, it makes a nice, compact package, a lot like a store pad!

Then for the test. I tried it out. I wore it two different times, putting it through the laundry in between. (Just to make the matter clear.) It feels a little more bulky than a regular pad, but the flannel is much softer than the disposable kind. It worked for me!

The plan:

Make a set like this, but with a thinner washable plastic layer that extends through the wings to replace the "matress-cover" layer.
Make a set of wingless for daytime with a little velcro on the bottom. Buy a set of underwear and sew velcro in them to correspond with the daytime pads.

Other thoughts:

There are reusable tampon alternatives, from menstrual cups like the Moon Cup and the DivaCup, to rolled-up cotton baby socks.
Here is a helpful article on reusable feminine products that covers different brands, care of washable pads and tampon alternatives, and cost and environmental benefits.
I've heard hemp is a much better absorbent layer. I don't know where I could get some without ordering online.
Here is a site that sells washable pads and custom underwear to go with them. I like to make my own. Much cheaper. My colors. ( I am not a floofy pink-and-purple type.)

Many of you ladies are already aware of all this, but I'm just putting out my thoughts and discoveries in case anyone has felt strongly enough about this and is willing to make a change in her life. I will do another post after I sew the rest and have a few months to give this a REAL try.

Please post your thoughts and comments in a delicate manner. ;) I would love to hear what you do to lessen your impact on the landfills.

Volunteers

2010-03-11T21:56:00.000-08:00

When I was growing up, if my dad found plants growing on their own in the backyard, he called them volunteers. Here are the volunteers I recently discovered in my shamefully neglected yard.

Leaning and looking.

Me and the snails love these.

Oh, yes, the snails and I.

This is an awful picture, but I was having fun the other day wearing an apron over my new $5 clearance dress. I couldn't justify not buying this little empire waist dress! I will have to update with a better picture.

Commitment to Loveliness: March 2

2010-03-02T11:53:00.000-08:00

Here is my commitment to loveliness for this week. To join in, visit Mat. Emily at Charming the Birds from the Trees

1. Speak with kindness. Be quiet and calm down when I want to say something out of frustration.

2. Meditate on these verses: Ephesians 5:21-22 "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord."

3. Go to the gym 5x.

4. Listen to some Michelle Tumes.

5. Play music (guitar or piano) or write at least once a day.

A New Poem

2010-02-27T08:28:00.000-08:00

My Friend, a Mama.

I wrote this after watching a video on Facebook of my friend, a new mama, talking to her tiny son.

2010-02-25T20:07:00.000-08:00

Feeling defeated, wondering what to do, heart aching, I prayed, "God, I need some inspiration." It came when I remembered this quote from St. Benedict's Rule. Pray and work. Simple.

Just today's stuff.

2010-02-20T18:34:00.000-08:00

Reading: Phillipians, The Illiad.

Thinking about: Loving strangers and enemies. What I can't do: give a lot of money, adopt an orphan, etc. What I can do: sing at a rest home, keep non-perishable food in my purse to give to a homeless person, write a letter to someone I know is a widow, donate my excess clothes, pray good things for someone who scorns me, make quilts for foster kids out of my huge stash of cute fabric.

Well, and about my hair. Because I'm deep like that.

Wearing: Jeans, teal X-Men T-shirt, Sweatshirt, red down vest. Maybe I should just turn on the heater. :)

Loving: Yellow knitted dishcloths in a woodsey basket. Yellow bowls. Yellow is general!

For Dinner: Baked chicken. Rice.

Plans for this week: Make overnight dinner rolls. Listen to people. Wash dishes after each meal whenever possible. I started this a couple weeks ago and BOY does it make a difference! Write a letter to a widow I know. Remember I can choose how I will respond to circumstances and people.

My Tulips

2010-02-14T20:24:00.000-08:00

These tulips appeared like magic while I was frantically frying up some eggs while balancing my hair, gloppy with blonde dye, on top of my head. Then grasping the fact I only had ten minutes to get in the car to go to church. Lucky I saw them!

I realize now that trying to go grocery shopping, cook breakfast, and dye my hair blonde before church on Sunday is a bad idea. And that dying my hair blonde is probably a bad idea any day of the week.

We had a candle lit dinner of asparagus with herbed tamari dip, steak, rolls, lobster bisque (I did not make this), and sparkling grape-apple cider. We pretty much always stay home on Valentine's Day. My hair did not look that bad. And it was a lovely, lovely day.

Dog Fur and Other Nonessentials

2010-02-13T13:54:00.000-08:00

"Have nothing in your homes that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." ~Kitteredge

This morning the mammoth pile of clean laundry on the spare room bed threatened to spread to the floor. I folded it. Then I looked at each pile and asked myself what I could get rid of. I got rid of socks, T-shirts, and some other things I didn't like. They were all perfectly good and fit me; I just didn't think they looked nice, or felt nice. As long as I have 8 or so of each, I really don't need the others, especially if they make life less pleasant or more difficult.

For a girl who hesitates throwing away the pile of fur after grooming the dog (maybe I could stuff something with this, or maybe it could be spun into yarn if I mixed it with wool) this was serious progress! Every day I am looking for ways to get rid of excess and exchange the ugly with beautiful.

An apple basket instead of a plastic basket. Cloth napkins for paper. Singing instead of background radio noise.

How do you create beauty in your home?

Schedules

2010-02-09T11:38:00.000-08:00

[This] is the great conversation in our life: to recognize and believe that the many unexpected events are not just disturbing interruptions of our projects, but the way in which God molds our hearts and prepares us. -Henri Nouwen

I am one of those people who LOVES schedules. I particularly love to write them. I will plan out my day, starting with a list of rpiorities, such as God, Family, Home, and then plan out my day in 15-minute increments. When I did this as a teenager, I would start the day with high hopes only to be dashed against the cement of reality within the first few hours of the day. Things just don't happen as we expect them to.

After innumerable such falls, I gave up. Why even PLAN? WHO CARES!!!!

And now, after awhile, I am writing schedules again. Because when I do have them, at least the floor is vaccumed and my lessons are planned, even though a family member went to the emergency room and we ended up waiting 6 hours there, or the power went out at 5:30 and we ended up barbequeing dinner and reading magazines by candlelight. I just have to be content with half-done. :)

Here is my basic schedule: (Because I love reading other people's.)

5:45--Shower

6:00--Morning prayer

6:15--Get ready

6:30--Make breakfast and pack lunches

7:00--Eat and leave for work

7:30-3:45--Work (read Bible at break)

4:00-6:00--Chores and teaching piano

6:00--Make dinner

6:45--Eat, clean up

8:00--Gym

9:00--Hang out with husband, read, journal, nightime prayer

10:00--Bed

What helps you schedule your day?

Schutshund

2010-01-30T21:39:00.000-08:00

Our Saturdays are usually spent at Schutshund Club, where we train our German Shepherd puppy in obedience, tracking, and protection.

There isn't much for me to do but watch and make lunch sometimes, so today I laid in the back of our pickup and watched the clouds drift and blend across the deep blue afternoon sky. It was one of those days when it doesn't matter what you look like, what you need to do, or how old you are. Whispers of beauty, scents of childhood, tiptoeing, joyful, elusive dreams were everywhere.

I took this video of Thrall the other day. He cracks us up sometimes. Thrall is almost one year old, and he LOVES protection work!

The noble dog.

My husband and Thrall, in the "long down" while another dog is doing obedience.

Commitment to Loveliness

2010-01-25T21:43:00.000-08:00

It's time for another Commitment to Loveliness! This is a fun way to increase femininity and beauty in our lives each week without even trying! All you have to do is choose five things that you would like to work on or do during the week that will increase the loveliness in your life!

Here are mine:

1. Read a poem.

2. Turn off the radio and listen to the rain.

3. Bring hand lotion to use at work.

4. Put on my apron before doing housework and cooking.

5. Work peacefully and thoughtfully.

To participate, visit Mat. Emily's lovely blog, Charming the Birds from the Trees.

2010-01-22T21:20:00.000-08:00

"I luvv 7-up tew..."

The Bible lesson at school was: God brings good out of every situation. I didn't get to finish teaching it. I came down with the stomach flu.

Good things about having a horrible flu:

1. My dog felt sorry for me and only galloped across the bed and my tender stomach once.

2. Several long, guilt-free showers.

3. Instant abs...almost.

4. 2 days off work.

5. Made me appreciate the ability to drink water.

6. Made me think about suffering, how bad I am at it, and how many other people deal with suffering, for a much longer period of time. Compassion.

7. Made me think about death. I want to long to be with my Savior, to have no fear of death. It made me want to pray more, to seek Him more.

8. A good chance to practice cheerfulness... :)

The Neat Room

2010-01-19T21:01:00.000-08:00

Well, the once nightmare-inducing crazy room is no more. In its place rests a placid space to be used by overnight guests or visiting children. Yesterday, with no plans whatsoever, I began emptying the Crazy Room of its contents.

Jaina, who considers this room her personal hideout from Thrall, was more than mildly upset. Each time another layer of junk was excavated, she got up and hid further back. Finally all that was left was the drapes. I cut them off below the window. Poor Jaina. Maybe she can hide under the bed now.

At the point in time when I took this photo, the crazy room now looked perfect, but the rest of the house looked as if a 100-foot giant had vomited the the partially digested contents of 80 garage sales all over the floor. Thrall took this opportunity to swallow a 6-foot ribbon. (When he wasn't trying to catch Jaena.) Thank gooodness I caught him when there was still about a foot hanging from his mouth. Pulling it out was...interesting.

The rest of the afternoon was spent piling garbage in a corner, cramming papers that should get filed into "file later" boxes, sorting stuff for the salvation army, and cramming "I-don't-need-this-but-I-can't-get-rid-of-it" type stuff into my closet. When my husband came home, I was standing on white-hot pointy stars, um, I mean my feet, washing dishes as usual. I let him discover the transformation for himself. It was an extremely satisfying day. :)

2010-01-16T19:18:00.000-08:00

Why should I be discouraged,
Why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely,
And long for Heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion?
My constant friend is He.
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Failing Household Science

2010-01-12T20:05:00.000-08:00

"The kitchen should be thoroughly cleaned after each meal. If it has become dusty or disarranged it should be put in order before the next meal is prepared. While the cooking is under way, everything should be kept in an orderly condition...."

Wow. And I thought I was really something getting the dishes done before bed! There are so many homemaking books at gutenburg.org. Books like this give an interesting background to the stories I read from this time in history. Here's the book where this quote comes from: Household Science in Rural Schools. I found a lot of these kind of books by just searching 'home' at gutenburg.org, in the subject box.

Our Imitation of God

2010-01-02T05:50:00.000-08:00

"...our imitation of God in this life... must be an imitation of God incarnate: our model is the Jesus, not only of Calvary, but of the workshop, the roads, the crowds, the clamorous demands and surly oppositions, the lack of all peace and privacy, the interruptions. For this, so strangely unlike anything we can attribute to the Divine life in itself, is apparently not only like, but is, the Divine life operating under human conditions."

~C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Petrified Cute

2010-01-01T05:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I decided to organize my kitchen for convenience, so I took all my dry goods out of the entry closet--

--and moved them into an eye-level shelf in the kitchen.

I put the excess dishes in that closet to make room. Genius! No more walking out of the kitchen and past the front door, squinting into the shadowy recesses of that closet to get some peanut butter or a bag of pasta.

I blogged about this cute flop December 15, 2008. They were so cute I decided to keep them. For a year.

I guess it was a good thing I brought my food out into the light.

going offline

2009-11-13T19:39:00.000-08:00

i need to go offline. it has been so nice to get to know all of you and you have been an inspiration to me. i need to be offline for awhile, so blessings to you all.

I guess it's not about the bonnet...

2009-11-01T13:20:00.000-08:00

"As you read my stories of long ago I hope you will remember that things truly worthwhile and that will give you happiness are the same now as they were then. It is not the things you have that make you happy. It is love and kindness and helping each other and just plain being good. "

~ Laura Ingalls Wilder

A Stout Heart

2009-10-29T20:47:00.000-07:00

Originally posted 10-11-2008

I picked up The Five Little Peppers and How They Grew as I was looking for the next book to read aloud to my class. I think it would be a little difficult for 1st and 2nd graders to grasp because it is told with many terms that are outdated. But I am having fun reading it to myself!

This little passage inspired me with its description of Mrs. Pepper:

But she had met life too bravely to be beaten down now. So with a stout heart and a cheery face, she had worked away day after day...and she had seen with pride that couldn't be concealed her noisy, happy brood growing up around her and filling her heart with comfort, and making the little brown house fairly ring with jollility and fun.

Caught up

2009-10-26T14:53:00.000-07:00

Wikipedia Commons, Barrow, AK

I have been very caught up in my own life and thoughts lately. My husband is considering a career as an Alaskan State Trooper. (We are currently in sunny CA and it is 80 degrees at the moment!) For now, there is physical training to be done, money to be saved, and the house to be fixed up in order to rent or sell. I'll post with more details if further steps are taken in this direction.

Just dealing with the possibility of raising a family in government housing in the Alaskan bush is a lot to take in. What about dinner as a family? Safety? A garden? But we want to serve people, and we are both up for a challenge, so we'll see where this idea takes us. We will at least end up healthier and with a fixed-up house!

Imagine Hand Waving

2009-10-20T07:18:00.000-07:00

Going to come up out of the internet for a breath of air. I'll see you all in a week or so!

Family Manners

2009-10-17T07:46:00.000-07:00

My mom used to have these rules up on the fridge when we were little. Found them inspiring as I read them over this week. Family manners should be our best manners! :)

The 21 Rules Of This House
by Gregg Harris

1. We obey God.
2. We love, honor and pray for one another.
3. We tell the truth.
4. We consider one another's interests ahead of our own.
5. We speak quietly and respectfully with one another.
6. We do not hurt one another with unkind words or deeds.
7. When someone needs correction, we correct him in love.
8. When someone is sorry, we forgive him.
9. When someone is sad, we comfort him.
10. When someone is happy, we rejoice with him.
11. When we have something nice to share, we share it.
12. When we have work to do, we do it without complaining.
13. We take good care of everything that God has given us.
14. We do not create unnecessary work for others.
15. When we open something, we close it.
16. When we take something out, we put it away.
17. When we turn something on, we turn it off.
18. When we make a mess, we clean it up.
19. When we do not know what to do, we ask.
20. When we go out, we act just as if we were in this house.
21. When we disobey or forget any of the 21 Rules of This House, we accept
the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Thrall and Jaena need to work on all of these rules. You can see how bitter Jane is, and the resignation in Thrall's posture. Where's the love, guys?

The Crazy Room

2009-10-15T17:39:00.000-07:00

When I open the door to The Crazy Room, I guess my imagination takes over. The treacherous stacks of paper, the dire germs clinging to the scattered kitty litter, the ancient and heavily-browed Bride Doll (passed down to the oldest daughter of each generation) who watches from the corner in her glass cabinet. Worst of all, there is no cover for the opening in the closet ceiling, and a dim light can be seen emanating from it in the night.

The first time I noticed this, I ran screaming to our bed and got under the covers. I had heard a heavy creaking in the attic before, and knew it was not rats. My mind was filled with images of dragging chains and decaying, animate bodies. I would not be calmed until James had scientifically proven that the light came from the upper side of our hall light panels, and that 60-year-old houses creak something awful. Hence, The Crazy Room.

One Month of Clean!

2009-10-14T06:18:00.000-07:00

One month ago today, I committed to keeping my house clean for 6 months. (The idea being to create a lifelong habit.) I have tried, many times before, to accomplish this, but today marks one month of actually keeping my house clean!

I no longer feel that sinking feeling that comes from having a moldy shower greet you every morning. My bed has ceased being a horrible knot of sheets and blankets. The carpets never crunch. I wake up to an obstacle free floor and eat breakfast in a shining sweet kitchen. How is this dramatic transformation possible you ask? The grace of God and my new chore system.

But lest pride come before a fall:

My closet.

The Crazy Room. Yes, the little specks on the floor are kitty litter.

A Tea Party Outfit

2009-10-12T18:01:00.000-07:00

Shopping yesterday, and as I was explaining to the sales girl why I needed a new outfit, she gave me some encouraging advice. Don't buy something that's not your style to fulfill other people's expectations. Just wear what's you. I don't know that I've ever been told that what I like is really, truly good enough. It's usually always advice on what colors and styles not to wear, what's cool and what's not.

Just wear what's you. So nice to feel validated instead of picked on! I know I should have learned this lesson at a far younger age, but I'm a slow learner. What do you want from me? Anyway, by the end of the day I had a beautiful outfit that feels like, well, me!

P.S. I didn't have anything to wear for a dress-up occasion, and I have two coming up. I don't think I've ever bought an "outfit" before! Purse was thrifted, dress clearanced to $8, so that helped! You can't really see, but the bracelet is set with pink glass. :)

Pumpkin Orange Bread and Cinnamon Butter

2009-10-10T08:18:00.000-07:00

Friday night was a pumpkin-bread-making dream. A little helper with long wavy blond hair, a goldenrod t-shirt, jeans, and a tiny red and yellow calico apron. Another very slightly taller helper reluctantly wearing the black apron with the butterfly on it. Both learning to crack eggs for the very first time. (It's ok, I'm already a pro at salvaging egg whites off tables and picking shells out of batter.) Sitting on the couch afterwards talking to their mama, we are pushing-30's sharing insights, exploring ideas. I never say twenty-something. I always say pushing 30. ;)

The morning of this picture I sit at my own silent table, all the happy sounds and faces of the night before echoing in my head. Would you like the recipe? It's Grandma's.

Pumpkin Orange Bread and Cinnamon Butter

Mix together in your smaller bowl:
3c flour
1t baking soda
3/4t baking powder
3/4t salt

Beat in your larger bowl:
1 & 1/4c sugar
1c vegetable oil
3 eggs (beat in one at a time till fluffy)
16 oz plain pumpkin (It should come in a 16oz can. Otherwise use two cups.)
the freshly grated peel of two oranges. (At least 1 T)

Now add in flour mix slowly.
Turn into greased bundt pan and bake at 350 for 50-60 min.
Cool in pan on rack for 5 min.
Invert on rack and remove pan.

Cinnamon Butter:
Combine:
1/2c softened butter
1t ground cinnamon

Making Home

2009-10-08T17:14:00.001-07:00

Finished my curtains last night. Found this picture at Sugar Pie Farmhouse, and the warm, homey feel of it inspired me to do my whole kitchen/dining room this way. I'm not usually a ruffles girl, but every time I look at my new curtains I feel so happy!

Sugar Pie Farmhouse is one of my all-time favorite blogs. Every time I read her posts I'm more inspired to be the homemaker and Christian woman I was made to be. Her blog is has a pure, sweet, nostalgic feel to it that leaves you filled with a nice homey goodness you just want to spread around your own home! Go check her out!

The Lily of the Valley

2009-10-06T23:20:00.000-07:00

"I have found a friend in Jesus, He's everything to me,
He's the fairest of ten thousand to my soul
The Lily of the Valley, in Him alone I see
All I need to cleanse and make me fully whole."

Oboxiously Boring Post by Childless Woman about Pets

2009-10-02T17:44:00.000-07:00

Thrall: Jaenah, you schmell SHO good. I would bite you, but that guy will whack me one if I do.

I was bored yesterday so I started reading the dictionary. So my posting choices were: Tips on when to use a question mark in the midst of a sentence, the definition of aardvark, or cute pics of pets.

Brother Lawrence and the Catbox

2009-09-28T16:46:00.000-07:00

In continuing the practice of conversing with God throughout each day, and quickly seeking His forgiveness when I fell or strayed, His presence has become as easy and natural to me now as it once was difficult to attain.
~Brother Lawrence, who worked in a kitchen from the time he joined the Discalced Carmelite order in Paris until his death. "A servant of the servants of God."

I've no right to even be sharing advice about a spiritual life, but for what it's worth, here is what helps me walk closer to God.

When I start my day by turning to God, and do this every day no matter what, one day I'll notice that I'm longing to be on my knees; His presence is my sustenance.

And this is just a little thing, but when I wear a cross, I find that it serves to remind me of Jesus all day. I feel it at my neck, and the children often ask about it, especially when I taught preschool.

And then I try to remember not to give up just because I'm not feeling "properly" spiritual. When I first read about the concept of practicing God's presence I think I was fourteen or so. I set down the book, inspired to be in perfect communion from that moment forward. But when I passed my bedroom door into the wide world, I was confronted by treacherous setbacks, upsetting my perfect state of serenity. Dad reminded me I hadn't hung up the bathmat! Mom demanded I do something as unholy as clean the cat box. (I had planned on taking a peaceful walk outside WITH GOD!) My brother or sister did something which required a cutting comeback. "If only there were no other people to mess me up, I could be perfect," I inwardly fumed. Well, of course I know now that there are several gaping holes in my spirituality, the most cavernous one being humility!

If you are a Christian, what do you do to stay in conversation with God during the day?

Just Lately

2009-09-26T15:20:00.000-07:00

Reading: Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, The Family Treasury of Children's Stories, The Lord of the Rings (still)

Making: sure my house stays clean.

Loving: Baby owls.

Challenged by: I can't seem to get going on the Iliad. I'm not giving up, but when I look at my bookshelf, I just want to take a book of Russian short stories or Nicholas and Alexandra, or maybe the Little House books.

Planning to: Paint something fallish. Maybe pumpkins or dry leaves or apples...or baby owls.

Thinking about: baby owls. I love their furry, meat-eating awkwardness! I really love these books:

LATIN CAN BE FUN

2009-09-24T05:22:00.000-07:00

TO BITE!

It's ok, once it dries out I should be able to use it again.